Why Friends With Benefits is The Best Hookup

In a few days, I'm going to New York on vacation and spending time with the man I slept for eight years, but I never called him. We live on different continents, but inevitably, so many times a year, we will find each other somewhere in the world, spend a couple of romantic days together, and then part ways. Such arrangements are often referred to be friends with benefits, or nsa hookup or in a casual relationship. But let's face it: there are always strings, right?

As I was planning this vacation, I suddenly realized that the two longest loves of my life were men who had never formally dated me. Boyfriend and girlfriend come and go, but my good friends with benefits have my rest time. I mean, eight years. This is longer than the duration of my first marriage. Although I can't imagine date my friend on my vacation, he is a low-key homeless anarchist who once took me to his sex and anonymous meeting of addicts.

Some red flags that I still value our relationship very much. In fact, he knows me better than many of my fwb dating partners. So, compared with the actual relationship, the dynamic relationship of friends with benefits is more sustainable and transparent. What is going on?

People are skeptical of sexual partners. They will say: How can you be with the same person, time and time again, without falling in love? Or at least, won't produce super jealousy and deadly attraction? Some adult friend finders believe that one of the sexual partner is always deceived, secretly hoping that this damn thing will lead to more serious consequences. Others dismiss sexual partnerships as lack of emotional compulsive mature hookup.

But why must things be so black and white? Of course, it's possible to find a middle ground between eternal love and zombie: in this place you can care for someone and enjoy great tinder free hookup, but don't want to collapse because you think of them going to bed with others. For example: The most important romantic fwb dating in my life is with a former editor of mine. We started doing one thing five years ago, and it's not over yet. When I met him, he was 45 years old, grumpy and charming. Why ruin a relationship? I will go to his apartment for a few hours in the afternoon, we will have pure secret benefits and then drink some tea and complain about things.

Sometimes we meet often, and sometimes things break for a while, usually because one of us has a hookup partner. Of course, when he finds a girlfriend, I'm a bit frustrated, but it won't get me into an emotional vortex like I've been tricked by a boyfriend. After all, disappointment stems from expectations.